So what’s the ultimate Father’s Day gift? Well, I’m a father, so I’ll tell you what I think in the hopes that we can avoid the typical gift-giving snafus that have plagued father’s since the invention of the silk tie (which I understand is nothing in comparison to the girdle, but still annoying nonetheless).

Let’s evaluate the “historically common” gifts:

– Ties: As I mentioned, just not a good idea – especially for me since I work at home and only wear ties when someone either a) gets married, b) dies, or c) invites me to a hoity toity party. I do not like to get dressed up, even for special occasions. I understand some people do, but I’m more into more fun recreational activities that require less clothing (boating, hiking, playing with my sons, fishing, sex…)

– Cologne: Nothing says “You smell bad” better than giving someone a bottle of cologne. It’s kind of a subtle hint that our deodorant isn’t cutting it and we need to overpower the stench with something made form French toilets water… I don’t buy it.

– Tools: Tools are always good gifts, but I’d work off Dad’s Amazon.com list or pay attention when he drools at Sears… Getting him a cheap set of screwdrivers is great for a child’s gift, but Mom should be looking in the power tools section. If Dad has a brother-in-law or other close male relatives consider going to them for advice.

– Music and DVDs: Every Dad should keep an Amazon.com wishlist. This is a great tool and helps you keep a running list of what CDs, DVDs, etc you want in your personal collection.

– Gadgets: I’m not a gadget freak (anymore) but it’s always cool to get a new toy. If you noticed 7 remotes in the living room, go order a Logitech Harmony universal remote – it will be like giving yourself a gift as well! If your husband doesn’t havea portable MP3 player and he likes to jog, grab him an iPod Nano.

– Clothes (for Dad): I’ll differ from the masses on this one. I like getting clothes, especially when my wife picks them out. This saves me an entire step of redressing myself when we go out – unless of course I mix said clothes with another piece which does not match… in which case I’ll still be dressing twice. Shirts are best here as Jeans and pants almost always need to be tried on – unless you simply go for a replacement of a current pair/style or a differing color.

– Clothes (for Mom): Now we’re talking – this is my favorite Father’s Day gift… These types of clothes should preferably be bought at Victoria’s Secret or similar store. They should be revealing but complimentary. Let’s face it, if your wife weighs 300 lbs, then a thong would disappear and be like buying nothing at all – might as well go nekkid (try getting THAT image out of your head, mwuhahahaah!) Anyway… My wife looks good in anything so I’m in pretty good shape here… plus I drop a lot of hints. 🙂

OK, that’s a pretty decent list. Carry on and don’t forget that it’s the thought that counts… No, really…

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